Diary of an Obsession – A modern Minnesong by a perfectly imperfect brain


 doo002  Let me sing you a song of a man so fair –
OK, he does have kind of darker hair.
Reddish, maybe?
A copper-street-dog-blond-brownish-wreck?
But sometimes definitely straight, long, sleek and black.
 doo003  Let me sing you a song of a man with a face
that’s the sweet, happy resting place
of so many pens that once lived in my pencil case.
Their tips broke at the sharp corners of the split cheeks’ crease.
They now surely rest in peace.
 doo004  Let me sing you a song of a man’s lips
right smack in the center of these split cheeks’ dips.
Disapproving flat line, bad boy’s smirk, curved like the Moon,
I could just bite –
oh no, that comes way too soon.
 doo005  Let me sing you a song of a man with hands,
five fingers a piece, long, and slender, and well, a man’s.
He can do magical stuff with these,
I am sure of it
like mmhh – pointing at things and holding on to a guitar bit.
 doo006  Let me sing you a song of a man’s body so fine
though *checks the watch* there isn’t really the time.
Yet, let me tell you, he got moves
*fans herself* I need air,
but oh my God, please, don’t you stare!
 doo007 Let me sing you a song of that man’s body again
since obviously I don’t have any restraint.
Bare of visible scars won in battle for Rome or us
for a peek he still gets my vote, my ticket money,
and maybe a tiny squee as a plus.
 doo008  Let me sing you a song of a man’s voice.
When he orders to kneel I do it, I have no choice.
Just listen.
Fancy antlers and mighty stick (the one in his hand) aside,
the velvety sound of a stiff upper lip and a good cuppa tea has all my circuits fried.
 doo009  Let me sing you a song of a man laughing
because he does it a lot
more often than not.
Did you know that lot & not rhyme on hot & also snot.
OK, that was disconcerting.
 doo010  Let me sing you a song of a man’s heart.
His kindness attracted me from the start.
A body can be a piece of art,
without a heart it comes down crushing,
and it is nothing.
 doo011  Let me sing you a song of a man’s head.
the inside that is; that’s understood without being said.
There is plenty of brain
and it is good for more
than just ruminating other people’s thoughts again & again for evermore.
 doo012  Let me sing you a song of a man of passion.
Though that surely isn’t of the latest fashion
he permitted himself to care what is rare,
to show what he burns for
no matter that vulnerability is a dare.
 doo013  Let me sing you a song of a gifted man,
he is like freaking Peter Pan.
Not that he played him, at least not that I know,
he just takes advantage that his inner child doesn’t grow.
I love to watch whoever he chooses to be from front row
(that’s a lie. It’s last row all the way to the right, always. But that didn’t rhyme.)
 doo014  Let me sing you a song of a man of the Bard.
It means he keeps First Folio and Sonnets in high regard.
What’s in a name? He knows it well.
Every word works like a spell
and not like my rhymes that are marred.
 doo015  Let me sing you a song of a man of excellent taste
who usually at all performances aced
until the one scene
in which he got star struck by Kermit the Frog when they faced.
Man, do I wish I was green.
 doo016  Let me sing you a song of a man of the puppets
because yes he has it with the Muppets.
He taught a Monster with a cookie
not to be pushy.
 doo017  Let me sing you a song of a romantic hero
but why does that only rhyme on zero?
Dreamy, quixotic, starry-eyed, prosaic,
it’s so old-fashioned it’s almost archaic –
pero quiero. (or again hero)
 doo018  Let me sing you a song of a man who inspires
I put lines down to still my desires.
My pens head out in order to discover
what lies underneath the facial cover
and all the masks he dons.
 doo019  It’s in the eyes:
intense, mysterious, sometimes menacing,
curled at the edges, sparkling, full of life, and –
 doo020  You see I don’t see on a regular base.
There is a reason I don’t like to look people into their face.
It’s confusing
all this moving
that takes place.
 doo021  It’s the different operational system that I run.
It’s not a better or worse, just a deviant one.
It’s very hospitable and kind,
invites even the most minuscule bit of information into my conscious mind.
I mean that is still better than none.
 doo022  It’s a bit chaotic in a noisy world though
I’m constantly running on the edge of immanent overflow.
That’s why I am inclined
to hide in that mind
that just can’t let go (not even at night).
 doo023  I guess a choice had to be made,
there had to happen a bit of a downgrade
before it all blew.
So, I was left with no inherited clue
what was said with hands and face’s aid.
 doo024  Or what’s implied when humans speak.
A loss that makes me on a regular basis freak.
It is far from me to question nature’s evolutionary decisions in me
but nope, no good; though it makes for more diversity.
And yes, that’s a good thing despite my critique.
 doo025  Ok, when you meet me you will hardly notice
not when I have the energy and willingness to focus.
I copy just enough of your animation to put you into your comfort zone
without appearing to be a weird clone.
At least I try. But it is tiring, like rhyming, to the bone.
 doo026  To avoid the expenditure
I blend in with the furniture.
Should you coax me into talking
expect no small talk in the making
facts and stories are my anchor.
 doo027  Back to faces though, and eyes.
Knowing that they should tell me something is where the problem lies
mainly because not all people have good intentions and are nice.
And I don’t want to hurt anyone either
But knowing it helped if I deciphered this features doesn’t make me wiser.
 doo028  I just get stuck analyzing
and re-analyzing what’s there to see
and how it matches with what I know of psychology
until I end up realizing
all I did was making it harder than it has to be.
 doo029  Then there are these eyes that I’m reading.
This is special – he
is my link to humanity.
*head on desk* this is a bad, cruel joke of nature
making it an unattainable creature.
 doo030  But he is there.
 doo031  His hair.
 doo032  His face.
 doo033  His lips.
 doo034  His hands.
 doo035  His body.
 doo036  His dance moves.
 doo037  His voice.
 doo038  His smile.
 doo039  His heart.
 doo040  His intelligence.
 doo041  His passion.
 doo042  His talent.
 doo043  His Shakespeare fondness.
 doo044  His hero worship.
 doo045  His teaching skills.
 doo046  His inspiration.
 doo047  His romance.
 doo048  His eyes.
 doo049  He is all that – an I can see it.

I think this is the place where I should apologize to Mr. Hiddleston, but then it is a true story. Nature likes these jokes.

What’s a true story as well is that I am on the spectrum and that’s what it means for me. But no, I don’t need to be cured from being me. What I need (and those like me on the spectrum) are friends like Sherlock’s friend Watson, aware of the differences in operational systems but willing to work to bridge the gaps because the profits from the synergy are high for both partners.

One thought on “Diary of an Obsession – A modern Minnesong by a perfectly imperfect brain

  1. Thank you for sharing the imperfectly perfect or the perfectly imperfect, that is the material of Love and loving, hope to meet you soon.

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